Inspirational Quotes
Words to motivate, inspire, and guide you.
Groucho Marx Quotes
SimplicityUnderstandingPerspective A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
HumorWordplayNonsense Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
HumorReadingLaughter From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
HonestyDeceptionIronyJudgment There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
UnhappinessPerspectiveReality It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
IndependenceNonconformityHumorSelf-deprecation I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
ActionAmbitionWritingAchievement Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
EnjoymentAppreciationRepetitionFamiliarity If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
IndependenceNonconformityRejectionBelonging Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
HappinessChoicePresent MomentSelf-Empowerment I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
NonconformityIndividualitySelf-WorthBelonging I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
HumorContractAgentBizarre I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
FlexibilityAdaptabilityOpenness Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
MarriageFreedomRelationship Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
BooksFriendshipHumor Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
IdentityHumorConsumerismSelf-ReflectionIrony I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
MemoryForgivenessGratitudeHuman Connection I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
AgingTime ManagementPerspectiveFulfillment Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
ResilienceDeterminationHumilityOptimismPerspective I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
MarriageDecision-MakingJudgmentHumorAccountability I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
EducationLearningWisdomTime ManagementKnowledge I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
ConfrontationControl One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
ReadingTelevisionLiteratureDisciplineIntellectual Growth I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
HealthWellnessResilienceSeeking Help I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
InfluenceRelationshipPower DynamicsAgency Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
ChangeEmotionWeatherToleranceEnvironment I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
DeterminationInitiativeCollaborationOvercoming ObstaclesCourage I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
SimplicityClarityMiscommunicationComplexityUnderstanding Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.